It has just occured to me that it's been exactly two years since the unfortunate death of Chris Benoit, which reminds me of an article of sorts I wrote up a day or two after the incident. My feelings on this and pro wrestling in general have surprisingly remained largely unchanged in two years, although I figured that I would never be able to watch a Chris Benoit match ever again although I think recently I'm finally able to seperate the performer from the man behind the scenes and appreciate his in ring work. Sadly, I just don't have the emotional attachment to his classic matches like the championship match at Wrestlemania XX like I used to. I no longer get excited at seeing HHH tap out, I just watch indifferently and merely respect his good matches for what the are. And no, I'm not reposting something I wrote two years ago as a lazy way of putting up some worthwhile content on this blog after not having anything of merit in almost two weeks. Ahem. Why would you ever think that? Anyway, the article....
Originally written: June 27,2007
I've spent the entire day thinking and reflecting over the news concerning Chris Benoit. I've noticed that this has bothered me more than I would have likely expected; in fact, it's bothered me more than just about anything else in professional wrestling. Pro wrestling unfortunately has a dark and shady underbelly beneath the arena and lights and this tragic ending to no doubt one of the greatest performers to ever step into the squared circle all too well supports this statement. Wrestling is a sport like no other in which someone seems to die all the time. Sherri Martel in fact died hardly a week before this incident occurred. Hell, I still remember vividly the day when I discovered the news of seeing Eddie Guerrero die. I sat in my chair, staring at the screen in a vain attempt to make heads or tails of it all, mind spinning with all the possibilities and causes of his death, yet regardless of the cause, the outcome was still the same; he was dead. That is just one of many examples of times where the realization that one of my favorite performers would never, ever set foot in the ring again. I would never be able to witness them compete. The only time I would ever see them would be in archive footage. As a result, every time one of my favorite wrestlers passes away, a part of my love for wrestling seems to dwindle a bit as well, that is nothing new. But this….this is different.
For you see, wrestling at its core is entertainment. The man you see stepping from behind those curtains is a different persona than the one that goes back behind the curtain and unlaces his boots after a long match. Hulk Hogan was much different than say, Terry Bollea. Dwayne Johnson is much different from the man we know as The Rock. Wrestlers passing away is nothing new, especially these last couple of years, I could just rattle off a list of who's who in the wrestling business that is no longer of this Earth. Mr. Perfect, Road Warrior Hawk, Davey Boy Smith, Lex Luger, The Big Bossman…..the list goes on and on. While their deaths were particularly tragic, no doubt, the death of Chris Benoit is about 10 times more devastating to my love of the sport than probably all of those combined. Even the passing of Eddie Guerrero, while hard, was something a bit easier to deal with and move on. But Chris Benoit was different. The man who walked out to step into the ring was also the man who stepped behind the curtain after a match. The man off camera was the same man as on. Chris Benoit was not given a character; he had one of those rare gifts that only a select few wrestlers have. He managed to entertain and give the people a show just based on pure wrestling talent. That was his character. He was a guy who went out there and put on a good match. As a result, the fans eventually embraced him and thanked him every night for his efforts, which resulted in him getting over. He didn't need a gimmick. Chris Benoit was enough. And honestly, when someone is given little to no breaks to get ahead in the business they love, yet still succeed on hard work and determination, how could you not respect and cherish them? Hell, when people used to ask me why I still bother with wrestling even though I find most of it to be stupid nowadays, one of my answers would have been Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit was a shining example of the good in wrestling; amidst the sleaze and childish storylines, wrestling was still an art, and boy was he a man of his craft. He was a man who made wrestling respectable. He had a good image and a good family. In short, he was the perfect example of a positive role model in professional wrestling for anyone to look up to, which is why it bothers me so deeply that I can no longer make that statement with a good conscience.
What would drive a man to do such a thing? A man who seemingly had a good career? A man who was financially secure? A man who seemed to love his family? The part that bothers me the most I think is that we will never know. He took himself from this world before anyone could make that answer. Also, think of how telling it must be for the wrestling industry itself. It gets worse and worse. Wrestler deaths become more and more frequent with each passing year. When a man who is driven to commit a brutal double homicide and then take his own life is scheduled to compete that very weekend, and seems to be perfectly fine otherwise, the WWE and wrestling in general needs to take a very long, self-reflective look at where it's going. This came as a shock to everyone in the industry as not one negative word has been ever said about Chris Benoit in his twenty year history. Yet here I am discussing the fact that he just committed the worst crime any wrestler has ever committed, ever. Perhaps mental evaluations as well as drug testing is something they should look into. I can only imagine the kind of stress these guys go through having to compete in a different town week in and week out. After awhile you probably get burned out, no matter how much you love the business. Chris Benoit may have been no different, in fact, if one reflects; perhaps Benoit may truly have been playing a character, or a "gimmick" like everyone else. He just stayed in character even if the camera wasn't on him. He was no doubt a man hiding with a lot of emotional pain inside. Chris Benoit was a man that truly loved wrestling. He didn't particularly care for storylines or fame or fortune; he went to Japan to train and make a name for him, mostly because he knew that he could put on better matches there. As he puts it himself, he left America because it was the 'big man' era at the time and the country just wasn't ready to embrace the idea of a Chris Benoit, a man who saw wrestling as an art form and a craft to be perfected. Over the course of time, the US was ready for a Chris Benoit, culminating in his Championship victory at Wrestlemania XX. However, I think that while the rest of the world was happy, Chris Benoit wasn't. I truly think he despised the spotlight and could care less about being 'the guy'. I'm not so sure if the added pressure of entertaining the fans and making sure they paid tickets to see him sat well with him. I also think that many of his friends in the business, who helped him through the hard times, were no longer there for him. Men such as Owen Hart, Dean Malenko, Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, hell even his mentor Stu Hart passed away just a few years ago.(Bret and Dean didn't die, but don't travel on the road with Benoit like they used to.) I think Benoit, who must have been having trouble deal with this and most likely a myriad of other problems that we don't yet know about, or perhaps ever will, likely felt alone and finally caved under pressure. Some people just aren't meant for fame and fortune. Benoit seemed to be a man that had no idea of how to deal with it. It definitely explains his reasons for leaving WCW all of those years ago, despite being their champion. He didn't want the spotlight. WCW didn't get it. He wanted respect was all. It wasn't to be had in WCW, so he left for greener pastures. It seems the WWE may not have gotten it either. While he was given oodles of respect, I think he found too much of the spotlight thrust upon him perhaps.
I'm in no way excusing what he did, either. I'm just trying to find some sort of rationale into why a man I looked up to just two days ago completely pissed it all away in a matter of moments. Try as I might, I can never, ever look at Chris Benoit ever again, despite his many accomplishments spanning two decades of wrestling. It's one thing to die of a drug overdose, or a freak accident, but to murder others in cold blood is devastating. At least with men such as Owen Hart or Eddie Guerrero, their deaths are a little easier to deal with because they died as martyrs. They died in a positive light. They will always be remembered and respected as good people, who did everything to make sure people got a good show. Hell, Eddie Guerrero's story of redemption is remarkable. He will always be seen as a legend for that alone. Chris Benoit also has a legacy no doubt, yet unfortunately, although his many accomplishments in wrestling are great and should be commended, he will no doubt be remembered for this hideous blight on his life and that's sad. Not that it shouldn't be this way, but it's still sad.
Wrestlers always seem to die these days. They're almost dropping like flies and my interest in it along with it. I remember fondly the days before Owen Hart plummeted to his untimely death and still wish wrestling was the innocent entertainment we all knew and loved. As ever year passes since that incident, a little bit of the innocence is scraped away, this latest chapter scraping away the hugest chunk yet. It may have just scraped away too much for me. The thought of watching any of my DVDs or even playing a game just makes my stomach churn, right now. I'm not saying I'll swear it off forever, but I know that I'll never be able to look at it the same as I did even a year ago, and that makes me a little sad. Nonetheless, thank you Chris Benoit for years of entertainment. I won't judge you, that's God's job, but may you, your wife and your son all rest in peace.
Anyway, I plan to have a review or two up sometime next week. The key word here is plan to, kids. Don't hold your breath. Both of you.
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