The QnD Review for Tomb Raider Trilogy

Alright, people. It's time for another QnD review, reviews in which I lazily whip up a load of unprofessional rubbish on a game I have yet to finish truncate an otherwise full review into a short, concise, and impersonal retrospective. This time we cover 3 adventures starring Lara Croft. I contemplated giving this a full review but I figured the opportunity to do anything quick and dirty with Lara Croft shouldn't be one someone should pass up.





It’s Tomb Raider Trilogy! A compilation available on PS3 that sports not one, not two, but three amazing Tomb Raider adventures. There have been several HD collections available for the PS3, but this is by far one of the best if not the best. This particular set includes the series of TR games that have been made since Crystal Dynamics took over for Core Design in 2006. The games featured are the PS2 versions of Legend and Anniversary (a remake of the original 1996 game) and the PS3 version of 2008s Underworld. So, you’re already getting a pretty good deal there as you get two games in the set for the price of what you would have paid for Underworld, just three years ago.

Where's L.A. Noire's MotionScan technology when you need it?

Any fan of the Uncharted series of games should definitely check these games out as all three build upon the gameplay concepts presented in the Uncharted series. At the time the platforming design was pretty revolutionary and it’s great to go back and see the Uncharted series roots. The only difference here, besides playing as a character unquestionably hotter than Nathan Drake, is that Tomb Raider tends to focus more on puzzle solving than combat. Uncharted has wave after wave of enemies with guns blazing and frequent explosions; Tomb Raider not so much. Even still, there’s plenty of action and bad guys to kill for action game aficionados who may be having a few reservations about the bigger focus on puzzle solving and platforming.

Tomb Raider Legend is the first game in the bunch and it’s easily the weakest in the set. Unfortunately, the vastly superior looking 360 version wasn’t ported over as it would have been a real treat to have seen it presented on a Sony console for the first time in stunning HD. The PS2 version looked pretty decent in say, 2006 but by 2011 standards it doesn’t fare quite as well. Animations and movements are still decent looking but the backgrounds look somewhat bland. Play control was great at the time, but again it’s shown its age and better play control has been seen in other games.



Tomb Raider Anniversary is in my estimation the best in the set. It takes the classic Tomb Raider formula and remakes the first game using not only the superior engine first presented in Legend, but improves upon it in every way. Control is tighter, Lara moves much more deftly and areas seem more expansive than the somewhat restricting Legend. Best of all, because this is a remake of the original, the plot is pretty much stand alone and you can jump right into it without knowing a thing about Tomb Raider. The version is also amazingly superior to the original PS2 version as the HD treatment looks far better here than it does in Legend for some reason.



Tomb Raider Underworld is the final game in the set and graphically and control wise, it’s probably the best. However, the level design isn’t quite as good as it was in Anniversary’s and the plot is also pretty humdrum compared to some of the other games as well, but TR games never were that big on plot anyways.

If there were any serious complaints about this collection is that nothing is really offered outside of the games themselves. If you already own all three of these games, I wouldn’t recommend it. However, if you’ve never played a Tomb Raider game before, this is a fantastic and fairly inexpensive way to experience what it’s all about before diving into the new Tomb Raider due out later on.

National Kenographic: Issue #1 The Playstation Network Crisis

This week on National Kenographic, we explore the current Playstation Network crisis. What was once a lovely gathering center and place of thriving commerce has now become a community chock full of an angry, displeased populace. The outrage has caused many to riot and revolt in the streets as Sony President Kaz Hirai makes attempts to quell the uprising.


For the past several months, Sony has made attempts to stymie efforts of revolt, but as time draws near, patience grows ever more short and relief and aid are needed to Network victims.

" I assure you, we have at least three people working on this crisis!" -Kaz Hirai to National Kenographic

“ I tried to log into PSN for a month and now it’s been a month and I can’t even get into the PS Store! Damn you, Kaz Hirai! Damn you SONY!” cried one victim of the famine. Many in the world are providing humanitarian aid to the victims of the PSN crash, including the Walk To End PSN Hunger Organization.




“There are people in the world starving, people dying in wars, but dammit, more importantly, people need their Playstation Store BACK up and running! I feel so horrible for these people. So our organization walks to provide relief to those victims.” said community organizer Connie Artest.

President Kaz Hirai has promised all those victims a care package for continued support during this terrible crisis. UN and Humanitarian organizations are all working feverishly to get these care packages out by the end of May. We hope at National Kenographic, that this can only be true.

Hirai promises a welcome back care package for disaster victims.

In other related news, Donald Trump has decided to run as President of SCEI. “The people have a right to know the status of their Playstation Network. This company has become a joke.” Trump said. “Why doesn’t Kaz Hirai release the hacker records or provide the new security certificate. I don’t understand why he can’t provide that and we can put all of this nonsense behind us and focus on what really matters.”





That's it for this time on National Kenographic. Your news source for 100 percent pertinent information and truth in the world today.

LA Noire and the Case of the Game That Sucks

What could have been an intriguing story driven tale is marred by terrible narrative pacing and overblown action sequences. L.A. Noire is the latest attempt by Rockstar to distance themselves from the puerile, almost cartoon-ish concepts presented in the Grand Theft Auto series and establish a more mature, serious product. The end result is a mixed bag. While the core of the game revolves around crime solving and case work, it also incorporates a few elements from the sandbox style of gameplay popularized by GTA. In this attempt to bridge two concepts together, neither work out very well and the game results in a disappointment overall.


Initially, the game is impressive. The presentation is easily the game’s greatest asset, providing an authentic depiction of 1940s era Los Angeles, from the cars driven to the clothing worn to the music and radio programs, everything here is faithfully reproduced to give the game a very classic film noir style feel. Careful attention to detail was placed on the graphics from bottles and cigarette butts tossed on the ground to postcards and letters. Objects of interest can be picked up and examined or zoomed in for further inspection. Thanks to MotionScan technology the faces of the actors are able to provide a fantastic level of detail and allow their performances to shine in ways it otherwise couldn’t have. This game boasts some of the best voice work in a videogame to date and really makes each character come alive in the scenes.

Book 'em Cole'o.

Despite the excellent presentation a few cracks in the foundation begin seeping through. Gameplay progression is divided amongst 21 individual cases, each spread out in an episodic nature. The problem that is presented is that the game tries to incorporate a mature, film noir narrative within the confines of “GTA style” and the two concepts don’t work well at all. Any attempts the writers made to try to make anyone care are trivialized by the silly trappings of sandbox style videogames. It’s difficult to take a plot seriously when you run over pedestrians knocking over light posts in pursuit of a fleeing suspect. As the plot grows increasingly more serious, as about the halfway point the game finally gets into the story it wanted to tell all along, the gameplay becomes even more ludicrous, at which point everything comes to a head in it’s final act; the player character literally goes in and takes on an army of mobsters with only his pistol and later a military issue flamethrower. In the end it cheapens and trivializes the drama of the tale. But more importantly, the game wastes too much time on filler material in the beginning that have little or nothing to do with the overall plot. The game attempts to foreshadow events to come via WWII flashbacks and obscure newspaper articles strewn about, but they’re amazingly vague and don’t provide enough clarity for the player to understand what’s going on. Not nearly enough time is spent developing Cole Phelps as a main character as elements of his personality and character traits are only mentioned in passing at best. When the time comes for the game to finally get to the point and tell the story it wanted to tell all along, the player is given little to no reason to care. We can’t have more cases that pertain to the plot or more dialogue sequences that explain the backstory a little more, oh no, because that would take time away from boring street crimes, driving around aimlessly looking for landmarks and making sure you’ve gotten into every hidden car so you can cross it off of your checklist.

Congratulations, Cole. You didn't kill any pedestrians in pursuit of today's suspect

Had the game been given more focus and attention to the things that did matter (case solving detective work) and less time on the stuff that didn’t (boring extracurricular activities that only trophy and achievement hunters would care about) the game would be a lot better off. The worst part is that this aspect of the title isn’t even needed. A grand recreation of Los Angeles means little if there’s hardly anything to do in it. The most interesting things are random dispatch calls the player can respond to which usually result in having to gun down a random group of thugs. Unfortunate that despite playing as a lawman, the player is given no opportunity to subdue a criminal instead of outright gunning them down. Interesting that the ability to take someone in alive is present in Red Dead Redemption, but not here. Unlike that of Heavy Rain, which is what this game should have been, half of the focus is diverted to this frivolity and not enough on the things that do matter. Things like branching or multiple story paths that affect the outcome of the game’s ultimate conclusion. No, L.A. Noire sees fit to cover up the same basic mission based formula present in Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption, only this game uses hand holding clue finding and poorly designed Truth or Dare games with suspect questioning to do it.

"Hold on, ma'am while i sift through these worthless ass clues to get to the one where I call you out on your lie and fail anyways thanks to the way this game annoyingly misdirects questions, gimme just a minute."

And that’s truly the saddest aspect of L.A. Noire. The game’s essential selling point, the clue finding and general detective work is stiflingly linear. All cases generally progress the same: travel to location, find a clue, question suspects and witnesses. Yes, this is how police work is generally done, it’s the sheer hand holding way in which the game achieves this concept that makes it so dull. The game almost never offers a choice between areas to investigate; even when it does, traveling to one location before another has no bearing on the ultimate resolution of the case. Half of the “clues” the player finds are worthless and don’t help in the slightest with interrogations and the rigid plot remains unchanged even in the rare event when the player is given a choice of which suspect to convict. The captain in the next scene speaks of how great of a detective Cole Phelps is, even if he did chew him out for a wrongful conviction the scene prior.

"So what does the police have on me that says I did it?"

"Uh.....nothing, but I found 14 landmarks and got into 10 random cars today so you better spill the beans, pal!"

L.A. Noire was an attempt to recreate a classic film noir tale of mystery, deception and intrigue. The worst part is that most of the mystery and deception comes less from the plot and more from the various ways it attempts to disguise boring linearity with choices made during cases that all lead to the same conclusion. Effective film noir storytelling and freedom of choice was done better in Heavy Rain and sandbox style action and fun was done far better in Red Dead Redemption. L.A. Noire attempts to bridge both concepts together and achieves only a modicum of success on both counts.

A Dragon Quest Anniversary Approaches! Command?

Hopefully this means a U.S. release in the future. Not that I'd have the time to play them or anything. I barely get an hour a day of gameplay time as it is. Still, it would be nice to be able to say I finally own all of the DQ games.

Raiding some tombs once more.

Started playing a bit of the Tomb Raider Trilogy on PS3, got through the first two stages of Legend and I realized that this game has not aged well at all. Combat is awful, with no way to take cover, no indication of grenade tosses and no melee. Worse yet, there are a number of graphical glitches; tonight I had to restart the entire second level due to Lara getting stuck onto a ledge. On the other hand, the platforming and movement is done very well and it's influence is seen in later games such as Assassins Creed and Uncharted. After the stiflingly restricted and slow movement of Cole Phelps in LA Noire, this felt like a breath of fresh air.

Actually, despite pretty much sucking at well, everything, one good thing LA Noire had going for it was the MotionScan technology. I'd love to see a Tomb Raider game that used Angelina Jolie's voice and likeness. It's pretty much the only movie role I ever liked her in.

C-c-changes....

Yes, it's an actual honest to God BLOG ENTRY. Now that I've put a lot of stupid personal bullshit that will honestly take more space than this to allow it's once again time to get back into the swing of talking about stupid pointless bullshit to absolutely no one. Ah yes, I definitely know how to prioritize in life. More frequent entries to come soon.